lacool

things are really looking up

Sun, 27 Sep 2009 18:44:51 GMT

i know im sick and im supposed to be asleep but i just had to write.

i feel like a little boy who's gonna get what he wants for xmas :)

i miss her so effing much. last time we we're together was way back last thursday before the storm.
she's alright and everything but i still effing miss her.
signal for my phone is finally coming back but it still sucks cause i still don't have load.

last night i had a rather nice dream...
we were just both on the same bed all snuggled up together in pajamas and cuddling.
i woke up with a smile on my face.

look up

Sun, 30 Aug 2009 17:58:00 GMT

i miss writing here
right now. it feels like my brain is lagging

thanks for pointing this out.
damn you google.

just a little more then maybe i'd call this love.
for a change things are looking up :)

bob's back

Thu, 23 Jul 2009 19:44:10 GMT

i cant read you at all.
IOI or not, i havent a clue
...
i feel like cuddling til noon
wish you we're here...

* note to self: FIX ITUNES

torpe ba ko?

Wed, 15 Jul 2009 15:52:12 GMT

bakit kung may gusto ka talaga natotorpe ka?

tangina.

evil evil evil!

Wed, 15 Jul 2009 15:43:49 GMT

this place has eviiiiil posts
hahahaha
tanginang buhay yan

motherfuck

Sun, 03 May 2009 16:37:07 GMT

im not over you.

fuck it
i was wrong.

no one gets it.

but i wont say anything

you seem happy and that's all that matters

*sigh*

cut the cord

Fri, 14 Nov 2008 13:53:19 GMT

dear mom and dad,

im gong to be fucking 21 years old next month. why the hell cant you let go of me. dont you know stupid reasons like " i said so dont make sense anymore?" alam ko nung kid ako nadadala ako dun. pero anak ng tinapa yung mga point niyo malabo na.

if you wont let me go out. at least give me a logical reason and not some stupid phrase...
" because i said so"
UHG

you guys have no idea how long ive waited for tonight
HELL ive even let you ruin my credebility..
OO. YOUR SON is being labelled as a NO SHOW by some of HIS FRIENDS.
and IT FUCKING HURTS OK

and you wonder why im like this. ha!
its a miracle i havent answered back to you.
I WOULD trust me. i really want to
pero dahil alam kong MASASAKTAN KAYO NG TODO
di ko gagawin
mabuting anak pa rin ako.

DATI KO PA KAYONG PINAGBIBIGYAN
PLEASE.......
PUMAYAG NA AKONG MAG PSYCH dahil gusto niyo ko magdoktor.

HINDE NA AKO kumokontra sa gusto niyong pagmigrate...but i seriously hate it

why?3 reasons..

one last thing. please stop trying to be perfect.DAD.. kasi MATIGAS ULO MO. bring down your fucking pride already.
nakuha ko pagiging martyr ko sayo.
LEARN FORM IT ALREADY damn it

MOM... YOUR TOO EMOTIONAL. and got that from you PA
TONE DOWN YOUR EGO...
and the world doesnt always revolve around YOU
YOU KEEP SAYING you care about us.
EH BAKIT KUNG SINESERMON MO KO nung kid ako .. simula lagi.. " ...KASI SI MOMMY ANO?..."
sagot ko ngayon: " kasi si mommy ayaw magbitaw sa kanyang number one."

AYAW KO MAWALAN NG MGA KAIBIGAN. pero wala na. kokonti sila dahil sa inyo.
looking at you guys.... one question. where are your friends?
i mean it seriously... meron naman. god friends naman... pero bat parang iilan lang?
I CANT TAKE THAT. you guys raised me for pete's sake. DONT YOU GUYS KNOW I HATE FEELING ALONE.

one more thing... please stop trying to be perfect
nakakairita. wait... hinde...
ang plastic.
I HATE IT

you guys did a great job raising me... kulang nalang finisher...
p.s. the reason why you dont hear me say i love you to you guys...
is because one... you dont say it to me to begin with...
two... because i dont fell it even if you say your showing it
and 3.. KASI KUNG SASABIHIN KO pero ako sure...
walang point

but here.
love your prodigal son.

being # 1

Fri, 03 Oct 2008 19:27:02 GMT

katarina jiang ongaigui....
i cant believe you asked me about my stat message
and i cant believe i told you it was you...
HAHAHAHA
putangina

who cares...
im fine with it.
shes fine with it.

sana kinilig sha
HAHAHAHA

2 in a row

Thu, 02 Oct 2008 17:33:13 GMT

how the fuck can a guy tell it a girl is really sincere or one of those so called danger girls..

a girl just asked me out to eat somewhere...
then she asked me out to the movies...
no tentative dates...

i met her during chem lab...
thats a class from 4pm -7pm every MONDAY and FRIDAY

thats the only class we have in common..

and still

sigh

fak fak fak fak

today is lazzeh day

Thu, 21 Aug 2008 05:41:59 GMT

after neuro ( my motherfraking 7am- 830 am class every tues and thurs)
i went to noval as usual to smoke my half pack :)
( im cutting down from my 2 packs a day habit)
bumped into migs and hung out at the bench place in front of laz.
then rach arrived and we smoked some more
:))

alex came and we moved to coffee i.
tamang chill lang

our next class was around 10 so sakto lang i guess
marga dropped by too
( hot and sexy marga oooh lala )
HAHAHAH

then it hit me.

TINATAMAD NAKO.

well normally
im lazy during my tues and thurs classes

hello.
neuro anatomy ( punyeta .. cant cut)
ethics ( 1 cuts down)
theo ( uh 2-3? hahah)

sooo

i cut today
:)

and hung out at mr kabab.
YES

i feel satisfied now.
im full
i smoked up
i took a shit

tamang chill lang
HAHAHAH

*side story.
im getting to know one of my neuro freshman blockmates
her names sel
she looks like shes from down south but it turns out shes from katip lang
hohoho

so now i have another yosi friend :P

and all this began when i "asked if i could borrw her lighter "
HAHAHAH

~end~

oooh

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 17:44:05 GMT

oh i have my very own laptop now :P YAY!

temperance :P

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 17:40:18 GMT

found out my prelim grades for my first three classes...
neuro...
ethics...
theo....
and i passed all of them.
HAHAHaha

we're finally going to have a group perssentation in our ethics class
4 groups... and our topic happens to be about temperance...
creative freedom.. and i love itttt

i pretty much get along with everyone in the group.
except for one guy ( the rest of the people in the group are girls)
everyone hates him...

first time he tried being friends with me.. all he could talk about was about tuition fees
and how expensive xavier is... tangina...
used to be from xavier when he was in grade school but he moved somewhere else
what a dick, ang yabang pa..
nagmamarunong pa sa tuition ng ateneo.

screw him

back to the ethics project..
oh yeah one of the pretty girls in class is our group leader
( 2 lang sila papasang maganda sa class. bad vibes.)

temperanceeeeee
im suppose to be coming up with ideas for our group...
meeting tomorrow

funny thing..all i can think about is making out with her
:))
and she kinda has a boy...
well.
HAHAHA

il be a good student and get good grades first before i let the snake in me take over
hoho

*side note: turns out i have momol pic with someone and i dont remember shit.
tanginaa.. oh noe. HAHAHA
sana nagjojoke lang talaga yung nang gagago
:P
* crosses fingers
~end~

Sat, 02 Aug 2008 16:48:49 GMT

i dont fucking know where to start

its been raining all week and i havent been really getting any sleep.

well 2-3 hours daily sounds about right. but still

i cant think straight at all.

not the important things anyways.

its sunday already and didnt feel the weekend at all.

i have classes til 7pm every mondays and fridays and though smoking with some one seems to calm me down a bit i dont know what to do at home.

a while ago i had to go to some stupid orientation for that mr. and ms. psych thing we have in school.

yeah. well school on a saturday from 730 am til 5 pm makes you feel pretty fucked up especially if they dont give you good food.

sayang 100 ko. thats about a weeks worth of smokes already.

oh yeah. magmomodel ako. putangina right.

im hoping it wont conflict my shindig and practice games in ajma team.

putangina.

fine i feel lonely...

and i feel ignored.

cant explain it.

my sched's pretty booked til september. motherfuck.

I NEED A VENUE DEAR LORD.

maybe when i drive to school some truck will hit me dead on
and i die on impact.
thats a thought.
then again i wont get to hold my new laptop.
RAWR.

stupid rain.
i want to cuddle with someone and fall asleep.
lahat ng mga nakikilala ko ngayon may mga boyfriend... and non of my blockmates believe me when i say ive never had one before... stupid kids..they dont know anything...

crap. its raining and im thinking of you.
how sad is that.
end

doggy doggy

Mon, 14 Jul 2008 16:42:42 GMT

im a fucking dog who hasnt eaten anything in the longest time
and some asshole comes along
offers me a peice of steak
teasing me
hides it
and leaves me alone in my cage once more.
woof woof
woof woof
rawr.

crap

Sat, 12 Jul 2008 18:49:20 GMT

its been a while since ive posted anything here.
not that it matters or anything...
but a lot of things have changed and still a lot of other things are still the same
ive been spending most of my time thinking during breaks..
well besides eating gum, smoking and looking for a nice place to hide from the hot sun :P
crap what the fuck did i get myself into now...
i miss everything
and im fucking miserable..
uhg

good karma where are youuuuu?

the fboys are probably the only people keeping me sane right now.

*note to self:
write more often.. it kinda helps.

hurah hurah!

Wed, 22 Aug 2007 10:51:48 GMT

jut got my new and un-cut id
:D
HAHAHA
and after that stupid guidance test im finally doing research for stat and english....
i was suppose to go to rmt and talk to mika about our nstp on saturday...
but since iniwanan nako ni max.
mamaya nalang yun..

ACADS MUNA MEHN...
ABOUT TIME TOO...
NYAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!!

i feel like a book geek..
i borrowed 5 books..
2 for stat
and 3 for english...
KUNG DL LANG SANA AKO NAKAPAGKUHA PA SANA... ( ASA)
* BIG GRIN
i didnt have to use the stupid computer to get the latter..
i just ended up going through an entire section on the way out
LUCKY LUCKY LUCKY DAY AT THE LIB :)
sana sa lahat nalang eh no. :P

oh yeah.. about stat a while ago...
nagets ko yung test...
wow...
hahahha i mean most of it actually made sense despite the fact that i didnt really go into geek mode...
grar... yan kasi eh... stupid bad habits...
:P
LEARN MAAAAAAAN....

everything else was so so today..
psych was kinda boring... di ako ginanahan mag notes...pero steady...
theo... well...
allen's group presented...
and well..
HINDE BUMENTA SAKIN AT LEAST....
and i think the entire class feels the same way...
ANG PERKY NG MGA HOSTS...
YETA
and i mean annoying perky...
mon( girl) was getting migranes already...
booo
and samaco was falling asleep too..
hahahha

hai...
crap
hope the test wont be as hard though...
I NEED TO CATCH UP....
i need to catch up in...
THEO...STAT... SA....PSYCH... AND ENGLISH...
OO LAHAT...
AND IM NOT KIDDING...
:s
friends.... help help...
teach me...
keep me company..
talk to me....
anything...
kahit makiramay man lang kayo...
hahahhaha
i need all the moral support i can get here...

some other thoughts....
i just noticed that a lot of my friends seem to be having problems...
grar...
hai...
here we go again...
*catch mode*
:)
i really don't mind catching my friends when their lives are starting to get all shitty
it's just that sometimes...
it gets really tiring.. nakakapagod
and some problems get to me too.. oo nakakahawa...
id rather not specify :)
i guess reality check sakin yun
and its kinda addicting :(

hmm i guess that im hopefull that somebody will catch me too..

putik...
its going to be 7pm in a bit.. and i need to frop by RMT pa...
<end>

Tue, 21 Aug 2007 17:27:12 GMT

stat long test tomorrow...
crap..
still out of focus..
but improving all the same...
my brain is starting to work again..
hai..
about time...
i might fail again tomorrow though....
i dont know...

today was pretty much normal...
maam magno gave us back our SA long tests ...
i got a
36 / 100
very bad...
very very bad...

hmmm
no matter...
despite my semi-bad day...
i still managed to get through today :P
and it didnt stop me from trying to cheer up people
yey!
*semi- happy smile :)

mai was at the dog house doing her aea thingies
*hugs mai!
ang active mo mai thanks again.. :)
hahahha
*note: you still owe mai a valentines date from last year.hahahaha :P
oh well :) ~long story~ :D

also helped mon(boy) with their surveys...
evee and chinx ( new friend! hahaa)
answered 2 of em.. i caught them bonding at mateo...
hahahaha
then
coopey and reggie answered the other 2
it was fun talking to reggie too..hahaha
ang layo layo ng mga pinag uusapan namin
from saguijo to cameras to classes..
ahahaha
naaliw ako sa first saguijo experience niya :P
hahahaha
fun fun :P pero sana di mangyari sakin though :D

sangbuhay reh came afterwards...
MASIKIP..pero ayos lang..
chung wasnt wind anymore...
(guy)max took his place...
and since max and water grl ( yes i forgot her name... how pathetic is that...hahaha) didnt go a while ago..
i was the only official element who knew what to do...
hmm
stress...mika had to lecture everything all over again :P
to the other people i mean :D

oh yeah..
after sangbuhay reh
i waited for my dad til around mga 7 ( before 7) at higad
ended up bonding with ain and nicole ( hahaha we met formally a while ago)
mostly about a certain scary red organizer booklet thingy...
rawr...
THANK GOD MY NAME AND BIRTHDAY aren't on that stupid organizer.
im SAVED...
HAHAHAHAHA

damn it...
im procastinating for STAT
*CRIES.....
and i have PE tomorrow...
hassle...
<end>

rawr...

Mon, 20 Aug 2007 17:29:37 GMT

grar... drove today..
but i was late..
naunahan pa ko ni max...

had our first sangbuhay rehersals today
turns out im one of the four elements :)
FIRE pare...
wooohooo!
i remember playing with fire back in high school
boxes and boxes of matches....

(thoughts)

my dad only found out about them when my mom, my little sister honey and i went ahead to new jersey
(way way way back then... pre-college)
*note: i dont smoke :D
lol
i still havent decided who'll get my zippo if and when i leave na..
hmmm...
ewan...

oh yeah.
i found out that today///yesterday ( whatever.. uhm.. umaga na.. almost 1:30 am)
is the 23rd (tama ba?) wedding anniv of max's parents
yey!
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!!

*note to self: do something for mom and dad on their 20th anniv.

mika dismissed us earlier than expected too..
before 2...
hitched a ride with max to mcdo..
ended up waiting for the Fboys..
yeah..
today was another dota day...
and i figured id spend the rest of the afternoon with them
well..
semi-indian signs...
at least matti and jonah went..
oh and teej was there too

while waiting for jonah...
matti and i just talked and talked...
TANGINA ANG HABA NA NG BUHOK NIYA
*INGGIT
i didnt play dota with them..
counter lang :P
oo bano nako magdota :P
fast forward.

i ran into nash back in mcdo after hanging out with the Fboys
lol
bonding sessions
she's really nice :)
hahaha
hug buddies na kami
:P
hai.. me and my big mouth.
may napaamin sha sakin
punyeta... booo...
HAHAHA
didnt tell her much..
but still
i owe her kwento...
rar...
oh well...
hahaha

when i got home...
A LOT LIKE LOVE WAS ON
grar...
love it..
its part of my chick flick collection
AND YEAH... MAY CHICK FLICK COLLECTION kami rito sa bahay..
DVDs....

after that...
ym til sawa...
thats my day...
boring isnt it?

oh yeah..
good luck to max and to everyone else who are going to have their midterms tomorrow...
nakikiramay ako..
after a 6 day break...
yeah..
*SLURP.
SOUPY SOUP....
:D

some updates

Thu, 16 Aug 2007 18:34:09 GMT

a while ago i felt like i was about to die...
well not litereally...
im suppose to have a stat long test..
but... loooks like theres wont be any classes tomorrow
yey!
long weekend :)
finally...
HAPPY HAPPY
oh and i managed to talk things over with someone.
I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER
* big smile
( for that someone)
i really appreciate you for trying to help me out and thanks again :)

oh..
my drum set is alive again :)
i think ill call it frankie :)
OH!!!!
i played a couple of times already...
and i think....
IM GETTING MY DRUMMING POWERS BACK!!!!
YEY!!! ( think ah... but im stll no good at it :) )

i also managed to fix punch's amp...
jam jam jam jam jam!!!

hmmm

time to save up all over again...
i NEED to get my hands on:
cords..ones that dont get damaged so easily.
extension cords...
adaptor for bass amp..
electrical tape...
new drum sticks
double peds :)

Tue, 14 Aug 2007 18:16:17 GMT

im about halfway done with scoring my survey forms for psych...
and i found some pictures of myself with someone
grar...
crap crap crap crap crap crap
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
i look so fucken happy
and carefree
and satisfied
and and and
I MISS MY LONG HAIR
:(
should i shave na?
i dont really see any point in not shaving any more...

anywho
im scared
IM REALLY REALLY SCARED
FUCK YOU STAT THEO AND ENG( ranked from bad to WORST)
i really really need help...

BE THERE...
:(
friends where are you?

Mon, 13 Aug 2007 15:51:00 GMT

i ran out of batt a while ago
and i ended up going home late...
misunderstandings... punyeta..
rough night...
nuff said

i had a lot of time to think a while ago
and i can honestly say that ii feel really really useless
everything just seems so pointless...
not everything...practically maybe.. but not everything...

ive been wasting my time on a lot of things too...
thinking may be one of them...

today just isnt my day...
and i think im going to cry in my sleep...
i know its pathetic...
grar..

lets all hope things turn out well tomorrow
i really dont want to recall some of the things that have bothered me tonight...

are you happy?.. hmmm

Sun, 12 Aug 2007 17:35:31 GMT

i saw my first shooting star.
and i made my wish
im not really expecting anything to happend
no harm in making a wish anyways...
wishfull thinking :)
im just glad it made me smile even for a bit

oh good deeds!

Mon, 06 Aug 2007 18:09:20 GMT

talk about karma...my first two classes were declared free-cut today...
and this was one of those days when i had actually studies for psych
( i know i should be studying for stat...)
arrived around 8:45 at higas to find evee puyat..stressed...panicy and troubled...
her asshole psych prof gave them a long test-paper...
a fucked up one at that...
since i didnt have anything else to do.
i helped her (good deed for the day!)
i pretty much just helped her think things through...
that kinda lasted from 9 til like 12:20
hahaha
sabaw sabaw moments at the ctc com lab.
the MIS people were there..id occationally pinch CORNs ass to undo my sabaw-ness..
and we'd talk about wierd things too
( i later on found out that evee managed to submitt her paper that day YEY FOR HER!!!)
OH AND I REALIZED THAT HER ASSHOLE PSYCH PROF was in fact MY STAT prof
SIR TOJIE
*note: freecut in his class becuase he ws part of a car accident i think?

moving on...
so i was left with theo and pe for the rest of the day....
reporting lan at ching tan...
jic and mon girl sat in...
moneky notes being passed
it was too quiet pa rin if you asked me...
we needed joel.
(ITS JOELS BIRTHDAY BTW HAPPY 22ND MAN...HAHAHA ESTE 18TH...HAHAHA)
mica and i pretty much played tic tac toe the whole time...
i guess she qualifies as a happy crush. HAHAHHA
any who...
got the readings for our consultation in theo..
may i jut say.. OH NO...
combine it with our reading for our SA long test later on ( tuesday na eh )
crap... no sleep moments
THE RAIN DIDNT HELP EITHER...
PE WAS A BITCH...
no game... drills drills and more drills...
onti nalang over cut na ako ..
punyeta....for a girl coach... ou pe prof HAS BALLS...
damn it...

tuition payments were today
i was last in line...
but i let some people cut ahead of me...
3 people lang
(good deed #2)
AJMA MEETING
proud...
fucking proud of my team..
mico should be part of that team too...
ryan and mico..i heart you guys...
maaasahan for life!!!
i hope ryan did well in his accounting long test...

afterwards... mico and i walked to mcdo.. talking.. politics... orgs... F-ing. ( Fboys kami btw)
damn it... i hope things work out with him :) he deserves to be happy.

well
it rained even harder..
after mico left .. migz garde aka "little garde" hung out with me in mcdo...
hahaha
bonding session

i then went back to ateneo to give den back ryans umbrella (he left it at the meeting)
heart to heart moments na bitin...haahaah diba den?
oh the reason why i wasnt able to go home early was because my parents were stuck in quiapo/recto area...
ang layo alam ko...
oh well

got home at around 9ish...
dinner again..fired chicken ulam..
hmmm
pam called later on about shindig...
apparently some fuck face leaked *something and we might have problems with *ORG NAME HERE*
i think i know who fuck face is...
tangina niya...
mamatay na sha...

whats done is done anyways...
so..
ive been spending the rest of the night making pam feel better about the problem
uhm..
matalga tagal rin
12-1:50? hahaahah
tangina
( goods deed #3)

man...
i wish people would do the same :)
imagine a world when all people are actually nice to one another...

now for the drawbacks...
this good deeds thing isnt really in my best interest...
uhm
i still havent read my theo... its for the consultation...
and i havent studied for my SA LONG test...
so
oh no
oh yeah
i dont know jack shit about what were going to do for english too...
whata life....
damn it....
"ikaw ang aking swerte..." LSS

i havent done anyting for my classes tomorrow but im so so so... hai

Sun, 05 Aug 2007 18:38:03 GMT

its all in my head...
im not stressed at all..
im stalling..
im making it seem that i have problems..
i do..
but i shouldnt have to worry about them..
one at a time..
i could take em all
i just need the right attitude

i know im good enough to get A's and B's...
im just thinking too much
too much thinking and not enough doings...
how stupid is that...
and yet im laughing about it right now. :)

i got the nudge ive been looking for...
and its about time i started fixing things...

i guess im done with my "me-time" for now
ive had enough of boxing myself up...
and staying in my little corner isnt helping at all...
i think i need space..
i know i need space
from everything...
my feelings... (emo-ness.. hahaha)
my desires... (happiness)
my friends ( :( )
and even org time....

my only fear is that if and when i manage to fix myself...
everything will change
everything will be different
but then again..
things do change for the better
i guess ill just have to be optimistic then

the hugs helped a bit ...
but talking did so much more
thank you friends.. and i really mean it.

uhm. ok

Sat, 04 Aug 2007 17:19:03 GMT

i need a push right now.