lacool

dear mom and dad,

im gong to be fucking 21 years old next month. why the hell cant you let go of me. dont you know stupid reasons like " i said so dont make sense anymore?" alam ko nung kid ako nadadala ako dun. pero anak ng tinapa yung  mga point niyo malabo na.

if you wont let me go out. at least give me a logical reason and not some stupid phrase...
" because i said so"
UHG

you guys have no idea how long ive waited for tonight
HELL ive even let you ruin my credebility..
OO. YOUR SON  is being labelled as a NO SHOW by some of HIS FRIENDS.
and IT FUCKING HURTS OK

and you wonder why im like this. ha!
its a miracle i havent answered back to you.
I WOULD trust me. i really want to
pero dahil alam kong MASASAKTAN KAYO NG TODO
di ko gagawin
mabuting anak pa rin ako.

DATI KO PA KAYONG PINAGBIBIGYAN
PLEASE.......
PUMAYAG NA AKONG MAG PSYCH dahil gusto niyo ko magdoktor.

HINDE NA AKO kumokontra sa gusto niyong pagmigrate...but i seriously hate it

why?3 reasons..

one last thing.  please stop trying to be perfect.DAD.. kasi  MATIGAS ULO MO. bring down your fucking pride already.
nakuha ko pagiging martyr ko sayo.
LEARN FORM IT ALREADY damn it

MOM... YOUR TOO EMOTIONAL. and got that  from you PA
TONE DOWN YOUR EGO...
and the world doesnt always revolve around YOU
YOU KEEP SAYING you care about us.
EH BAKIT KUNG SINESERMON MO KO nung kid ako .. simula lagi.. " ...KASI SI MOMMY ANO?..."
sagot ko ngayon: " kasi  si mommy ayaw magbitaw sa kanyang number one."

AYAW KO MAWALAN NG MGA KAIBIGAN. pero wala na. kokonti sila dahil sa inyo.
looking at you guys.... one question. where are your friends?
i mean it seriously... meron naman. god friends naman... pero bat parang iilan lang?
I CANT TAKE THAT. you guys raised me for pete's sake. DONT YOU GUYS KNOW I HATE FEELING ALONE.

one more thing... please stop trying to be perfect
nakakairita. wait... hinde...
ang plastic.
I HATE IT

you guys did a great job raising me... kulang nalang finisher...
p.s. the reason why you dont hear me say i love you to you guys...
is because one... you dont say it to me to begin with...
two... because i dont  fell it even if you say  your showing it
and 3.. KASI  KUNG SASABIHIN KO  pero ako sure...
walang point

but here.
love your prodigal son.

Current Location: rooftop. smoking

Current Mood: crushed

Current Music: someone shouting in the background

found out my prelim grades for my first three classes...
neuro...
ethics...
theo....
and i passed all of them. 
HAHAHaha


we're finally  going to have a group perssentation in our ethics class
 4 groups... and  our topic happens to be about temperance...
creative freedom.. and i love itttt

i pretty much get along with everyone in the group.
except for one guy ( the rest of the people in the group are girls)
everyone hates him...

first time he tried being friends with me.. all he could talk about was about tuition fees 
and how expensive xavier is... tangina...
used to be from xavier when he was in grade school but he moved somewhere else
what a dick, ang yabang pa..
nagmamarunong pa sa tuition ng ateneo.

screw him

back to the ethics project..
oh  yeah  one of the pretty girls in class is  our group leader
(  2 lang sila papasang maganda sa class. bad vibes.)

temperanceeeeee
im suppose to be coming up with ideas for our group...
meeting tomorrow

funny thing..all i can think about is making out with her
:))
and she kinda has a boy...
well.
HAHAHA

il be a good student and get good grades first before i let the snake in me take over
hoho

*side note: turns out  i have  momol pic with someone and i dont remember shit.
tanginaa.. oh noe. HAHAHA
sana nagjojoke lang talaga yung  nang gagago 
:P
* crosses fingers
~end~

Current Mood: predatory

Current Music: kalibugan ng buwan- drip

i dont fucking know where to start

its been raining all week and i havent been really getting any sleep.

well 2-3 hours daily sounds about right. but still

i cant think straight at all.

not the important things anyways.

its sunday already and didnt feel the weekend at all.

i have classes til 7pm every mondays and fridays and though  smoking with some one seems to calm me down a bit i dont know what to do at home.

a while ago i  had to go to some stupid orientation for that mr. and ms. psych thing we have in school.

yeah. well school on a saturday from 730 am til 5 pm makes you feel pretty fucked up especially if they dont give you good food.

sayang 100 ko. thats about a weeks worth of smokes already.

oh yeah. magmomodel ako. putangina right.

im hoping it wont conflict my shindig  and practice games in ajma team.

putangina.

fine i feel lonely...

and i feel ignored.

cant explain it.

my sched's pretty booked til september. motherfuck.

I NEED A VENUE DEAR LORD.

maybe when i drive to school  some truck  will hit me  dead on
and i die on impact.
thats a thought.
then again i wont get to  hold my new laptop.
RAWR.

stupid rain.
i want to cuddle with someone and fall asleep.
lahat ng mga nakikilala ko ngayon may mga boyfriend... and non of my blockmates believe me when i say ive never had one before... stupid kids..they dont know anything...

crap. its raining and im thinking of you.
how sad is that.
end

Current Location: by the fan and smoking

Current Mood: lonely

im a fucking dog who  hasnt eaten anything in the longest time
and some asshole comes along
offers me a peice of steak
teasing me
hides it
and leaves me alone in my cage once more.
woof woof
woof woof
rawr.

Current Mood: frustrated

Current Music: cats with orgasmic shrieks and dogs coughing up hair balls

its been a while since ive posted anything here.
not that it matters or anything...
but a lot of things have changed and still a lot of other things are still the same
ive been spending most of my time thinking during breaks..
well besides eating gum, smoking and looking for a nice place to hide from the hot sun :P
crap what the fuck did i get myself into now...
i miss everything 
and im fucking miserable..
uhg

good karma where are youuuuu?

the fboys are probably the only people keeping me sane right now.

*note to self:
write more often.. it kinda helps.

Current Location: the lonely computer area

Current Mood: contemplative

Current Music: wish you were here

stat long test tomorrow...
crap..
still out of focus..
but improving all the same...
my brain is starting to work again..
hai..
about time...
i might fail again tomorrow though....
i dont know...

today was pretty much normal...
maam magno gave us back our SA long tests ...
i got a 
36 / 100
very bad...
very very bad...

hmmm
no matter...
despite my semi-bad day...
i still managed to get through today :P
and it didnt stop me from trying to cheer up people
yey!
*semi- happy smile :)

mai was at the dog house doing her aea thingies 
*hugs mai!
ang active mo mai  thanks again.. :)
hahahha
*note: you still owe mai a valentines date from last year.hahahaha :P
oh well :) ~long story~ :D

also helped mon(boy) with their surveys...
evee and chinx ( new friend! hahaa)
answered 2 of em.. i caught them bonding at mateo...
hahahaha
then 
coopey and reggie answered  the other 2
it was fun talking to reggie too..hahaha
ang layo layo ng mga pinag uusapan namin
from saguijo to  cameras to  classes..
ahahaha
naaliw ako sa first saguijo experience niya :P
hahahaha
fun fun  :P pero sana di mangyari sakin though :D


sangbuhay reh came afterwards...
MASIKIP..pero ayos lang..
chung wasnt wind anymore...
(guy)max took his place...
and since max and  water grl ( yes i forgot her name... how pathetic is that...hahaha) didnt go a while ago..
i was the only official element who knew what to do...
hmm
stress...mika had to lecture everything all over again :P
to the other people i mean :D


oh yeah..
after sangbuhay reh
i waited for my dad til around mga 7 ( before 7) at higad
ended up bonding with ain and  nicole ( hahaha we met formally a while ago)
mostly about a certain  scary red organizer booklet thingy...
rawr...
THANK GOD MY NAME AND BIRTHDAY aren't on that stupid  organizer.
im SAVED...
HAHAHAHAHA

damn it...
im procastinating for STAT
 *CRIES.....
and i have PE tomorrow...
hassle...
<end>

Current Location: passed out beside gay dogs humping each other

Current Mood: stat long test

grar... drove today..
but i was late..
naunahan pa ko ni max...

had our first sangbuhay rehersals today
turns out im one of the four elements :)
FIRE  pare... 
wooohooo!
i remember playing  with fire back in high school
boxes and boxes of matches....

(thoughts)

my dad only found out about them when my mom, my little sister honey and i went ahead to new jersey
(way way way back then... pre-college)
*note: i dont smoke :D
lol
i still havent decided who'll get my zippo if and when i leave na..
hmmm...
ewan...

oh yeah.
i found out that today///yesterday ( whatever.. uhm.. umaga na.. almost 1:30 am)
is the 23rd (tama ba?) wedding anniv of max's parents
yey!
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!!

*note to self: do something for mom and dad on their 20th anniv.

mika dismissed us earlier than expected too..
before 2...
hitched a ride with max to mcdo..
ended up waiting for the Fboys..
yeah..
today was another dota day...
and i figured id spend the rest of the afternoon with them
well..
semi-indian signs...
at least matti and jonah went..
oh and teej was there too

while waiting for jonah...
matti and i just talked and talked...
TANGINA ANG HABA NA NG BUHOK NIYA 
*INGGIT
i didnt play dota with them..
counter lang :P
oo bano nako magdota :P
fast forward.

i ran into nash back in mcdo after hanging out with the Fboys
lol
bonding sessions
she's really nice :)
hahaha
hug buddies na kami 
:P
hai.. me and my big mouth.
may napaamin sha sakin
punyeta... booo...
HAHAHA
didnt tell her much..
but still
i owe her kwento...
rar...
oh well...
hahaha

when i got home...
A LOT LIKE LOVE WAS ON
grar...
love it..
its part of my chick flick collection
AND YEAH... MAY CHICK FLICK COLLECTION kami rito sa bahay..
DVDs....


after that...
ym til sawa...
thats my day...
boring isnt it?

oh yeah..
good luck to max and to everyone else who are going to have their midterms tomorrow...
nakikiramay ako..
after a 6 day break...
yeah..
*SLURP.
SOUPY SOUP....
:D

Current Mood: NAGLILIYAB

a while ago i felt like i was about to die...
well not litereally...
im suppose to have a stat long test..
but... loooks like theres wont be any classes tomorrow
yey!
long weekend :)
finally...
HAPPY HAPPY
oh and i managed to talk things over with someone.
I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER
* big smile
( for that someone)
i really appreciate  you for trying to help me out and thanks again :)

oh..
my drum set is alive again :)
i think ill call it frankie :)
OH!!!!
i played a couple of times already...
and i think....
IM GETTING MY DRUMMING POWERS BACK!!!!
YEY!!! ( think ah... but im stll no good at it :) )



i also managed to  fix punch's amp... 
jam jam jam jam jam!!!

hmmm


time to save up all over again...
i NEED to get my hands on:
cords..ones that dont get damaged so easily.
extension cords...
adaptor for bass amp..
electrical tape...
new drum sticks
double peds :)

Current Mood: relieved

Current Music: hairpin

im about halfway done with scoring my  survey forms for psych...
and i found some pictures of myself with someone
grar...
crap crap crap crap crap crap
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
i look so fucken happy
and carefree
and satisfied
and and and
I MISS MY LONG HAIR
 :(
should i shave na?
i dont really see any point in not shaving any more...

anywho
im scared 
IM REALLY REALLY SCARED 
FUCK YOU STAT THEO AND ENG( ranked from bad to WORST)
i really really need help...

BE THERE...
:(
friends where are you?

Current Mood: i saw picture of you